Love and Pain

Recently, I have been thinking about something - something that I have not experienced or felt as strongly as I expect it to be...not yet that is...triggered by events in the lives of friends.
The ever complicated topic of love. Actually, I take back what I said - I probably have fallen in love before - but maybe it is not how I expected it to be. (The doubt makes me think I haven't felt the full force of it..or wrath). I know I can do so much more than that and I can't wait to be there...to do that much.

I have always thought that I would give everything for that someone. And I still believe I will - knowing me when I am on that kind of "high". However, I have been a witness to love that faded..probably died..and the grief and pain that come with it. I have always thought I am ready to face that - the inevitable pain in loving. Easy for me to say when I am not there yet. Now that I have seen other people facing that - it makes me think if I want to go through something like that. Can I bear it? Maybe I can, maybe I can't. Is it all worth the pain? Hard to tell when you are not face to face or immersed in it. Hard core romantics will probably say yes. On the other hand, it makes me think - can I bear NOT giving everything I can give? I guess not too.

Anyhoo, these are just thoughts. I will cross the bridge over troubled water (hehe) when I get there. But I am betting on the second one. I will give it all, lose all control. I will seek not only love's peace and pleasure...I will bleed willingly and joyfully...I shall laugh with all of my laughter and weep with all of my tears.*

And no, I am not in love with anyone now. : ) hehehe!

*Indirectly quoting my fave section of one of my fave books - The Prophet (On Love).